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The sun was fading away into the horizon

It was a long day, loads of work and definitely no fun

He packed up his back, she closed her work

Both of them left for their home

There was a smile on his face, happiness in her step

He dreamt of holding her

She laughed at the thought of him hugging her

He looked at watch, she glanced outside the cab window

Both of them wondered, why is the time moving so slow

He took the last turn, her cab pulled in past the corner shop

The happiness in that moment was over the top

He parked the car, she unlocked the door

The fragrance in the house was just like the wind on a sea shore

He sat on the sofa, she hugged her in all comfort and hope

They closed their eyes, he kissed her forehead

And that was their home.

The Dream

He woke up,
It was middle of the night
He looked around
There was no one by his side
He closed his eyes
The dream played again in his mind
He smiled a little
But cried inside
They broke him, they hurt him
He still walked
Putting them all aside
There was agony, there was pain
He held back for now
Then the tears came
It was bad
He saw no good
The pain had nowhere to hide
He tried to face it
In anger he screamed, put up a fight
It was not long
Before he quit
“I am just fine”, he lied

A letter from the Heart

Dear Love,

You arrived very unexpectedly. Was it before time? I don’t know. Were you late? Maybe. Was it the right time – I am still evaluating that – but what matters is that you came.

It was like the tempest which hit my life and calmed down without any harm. In fact, I loved every lash of it, I rejoiced every wave – now it is settling down – I can see it smoothly floating towards me from the horizon, I can see the shore where I am heading.

Many have asked how will that shore look like. Have I thought about it? Yes maybe, do I know how long before I reach there? maybe not.

Let me row this journey back to the port where I started off from.

This port was something very magnificent, the lights twinkling as bright as I hoped my future would be. There was chaos – which was music to ears. I was one among those who was preparing to sail. I could see people loading buckets of trust, containers of self confidence, cartons wrapped with this fake aura that they were hoping would guide them through the rough path ahead. Buried under such hopes they crawled up into their ships, as the port slowly started becoming less populated and the ships started moving out.

There I was, sitting with the minimal luggage – a small sheet of respect wrapped around me, small chunks of narcissism and just enough snacks called love to get me through this long journey.

I had no expectations, I had no hopes but I still knew I had to be on this journey.

So when the storm called love came, like I said I wasn’t ready. But then they say, best things in life come when you are unprepared – or the worst? A hypothesis that might still need some validation.

I knew exactly what love looked like…

I would have recognized her at first glance

Love played my favorite music
And knew all my favorite songs

Love and I found a perch that fit us perfectly

We found jokes that make us laugh

I cried for love
I tell love, “You are beautiful”

And mean it

But I am not perfect and will sometime forget

That is when the storm erupted, grew up engulfing the fear that I might be lying, became ferocious and insecure that I might not sustain her wrath. But I sat there, right there on the perch, waiting for her to calm down, waiting for her to settle into simple flow that I have always loved.

Love mellowed down, love embraced me, looked at me with those dreamy eyes which said – why you do this? I looked back at love, warmly welcomed its presence, put a little smile on the face – I do this because I care, I have forgotten what love is so I am learning again, I don’t know what it feels like to jump into this storm and ride the waves with comfort, you are the reason I am trying and slowly getting back on top

You made me realize why  I am good, you made me feel why I am good. You were the storm that I needed to shake me up, you were the storm which floated me to the shore, you were the storm that I rode to become who I am today, you are the storm that I would want to experience everyday in my life

Now when I look at you from the distance, I see the same resistance but more confidence, the same anger, but wrapped in love. You are more crazy but even more fun, you are more stubborn but so much more fun, you are mad but a lot more caring.

And now love just asks:

Will you still care in the morning?
When the magic’s gone, gone, oh?
And will you be there in the morning?
Do you stay when it all goes?
Or will I wake up alone?

And all I will sing to that is:

I don’t mind
If you want to hold onto me tight
You don’t have to sleep alone tonight

You’re the light that lifts me higher
So bright, you guide me through
I believe in you!

Yours Sincerely,

Lover

 

 

 

 

Lost

He was sitting there, all by himself – on the couch, with a glass of water in his hand, his earphones plugged in – listening to that tune they danced on the other night.

But today was not about them or her today, it’s about him – him as a person, him as someone which this world doesn’t know about – just like that unknown x that you try to solve for in the toughest math equation, just like that UFO which was never spotted, just like that element in food which is always missing. But it is present or found, it sure causes a lot of chaos – the new definition of the latest chaos theory? Or maybe not.

Things had been a little different those days – people were looking towards him, people were realizing who he was, people wanted to be a part of his life. But why all the attention?

A day that went by

Full dark and gloomy skies

It made the strongest break down

There was pain but no sound

He tried

But all was in vain

He cried

They said he was insane

Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t

Just when he was trying to build himself together, they came with the canons and the arsenal. They came out to break him, to bring him down for what he had done. They wanted him out for the way he acted, they wanted him to pay for the way he was.

What did he do? Trusted people

How did he act? Fair to all, putting them first

How he was? A leader who shed bled for his army first

He questioned himself his mistake, he questioned himself his credibility, he questioned his strength, he questioned his actions.

He looked up at the sky

Wished for her, and said “oh my!”

“How I wished you knew”

“What I went through”

“I tried to be strong”

“They said I was wrong”

She woke up to a voice note from him

Three seconds later, she knew he was gone

He had gone to the bakery shop, with heavy eyes and no sleep for last night, to get some bread and breakfast. Holding the favorite coffee he knew she liked, he rode that bike across town, just to be with that person. It was a new day, a new beginning, a day with her sure can make things right. He knew, those low lives would come again – stronger and better, they would try to hit hard and take it all away. He knew he would be ready this time, he knew he ain’t giving up so easy this time.

He looked at his phone

Hummed a beautiful tone

He forgot about road and the way back home

Through the phone he saw her smiling

He coughed a laugh through that crying

The road was cold below as he closed his eyes

And that was the final goodbye

The car drove away over the broken bike. There was a crowd around, surrounding him as he lay there cold. The morning air was filled with smell of fresh bread and freshly brewed coffee – the one that would not reach it’s destination.

She waited for the door bell to ring, which never did. When it did, she fell to the floor, she knew they had won and she had lost.

I will be fine

“I’m fine”, he said with a smile extending from one end to the another.

Little did they know, what was brushed under the carpet,

Little did they know the effort put in to pull off that smile and

Little did they know, that the smile

Was just an effort to keep people away from his life.

He still cared as if she mattered to her the most

He still loved as if she was the only one in the world

Even when he knew, it was not meant to be

Even when he knew, one day she will walk away

Even then he said – “No she is not using me”

He tried to look ahead

He tried to walk ahead, with a strong face

Because no one picked him up

Because no one wanted him to get up

Because he was still waiting for her hand to pull him up

“I see her.

I see her right next to me

I see her smiling right back at me

I see her standing in front of me

With him, instead of being with me”

He took steps to find that love again

He made efforts to fake that smile again

All he could do was pick up the pieces

All he could do was walk away

All he did, was close his eyes

Tears trickled down, holding the pain

He looked up with his moist eyes

“I’m really fine’, he grinned once again

When you tried!

Been a while since I  had my words speak for me,

Been a while since I let her take charge of me

But there is always something in the night

When your eyes go numb and your emotions fight

You try hard

But life always holds the better card

And then all you can do is give up!

It is the month of February – the month of love, the month of those beautiful red roses blossoming love between two souls, strengthening the bonds between hearts- young in love, yet excited about the rad that lies ahead. But is it all that February holds ? What abut the other side? Ever asked that question? If you are wondering what about it? Well, the answer is not that easy.

Everyone remembers that famous line- Love starts with Friendship – but then those words got lost somewhere in the sands of time. As far as I remember, friendship is considered as a curse if it comes between love? Is it really that bad? That bad to love someone and be friends?

It’s rare to find people who understand you, accept you the way you are, love you for who you are and be there for you when the entire world is against you.

They have had their ups and downs
Fights and misunderstandings
Hatred and cold wars
But then every time when someone asks- “after all this while”?
He would just say – Always

It was his favorite lines from the famous Harry Potter Franchise, for the most favorite person in his life.

The night was still young, two glasses of wine and the floor awaited their arrival.

There was happiness in every moment that day

It was music to him – every word she would say

She wore that pretty dress,

And there he was, a usual mess

She stumbled, he laughed

He tripped, she held his arm

 

He knew it was here from the very beginning, but then there was fear- the fear of losing her as the most amazing friend he has had till now, fear of losing her to someone who could love her more, fear of losing her to time – which sure was running out on him.

It was just one of those nights when his thoughts drove him mad, her absence made him shed a tear. He kept it inside his heart, whispered slowly to himself-

“I will always have much more love to give
I don’t know if I do enough or say enough to show you what you mean to me.
But today I just wanna remember that I am lucky to have you with me.”

Those words were etched in that moment, a spark that lit his dark room for a while. They flashed in front of his moist eyes – he could see her smiling through them, he could imagine her reaction when she would hear them, he could feel the beat rising inside his rib cage, he knew it was time to let go.

The phone rang …. the words shimmered for a while more then vanished into thin air- so did hope- as he slid open his screen lock

“No”

 

Frustration – It’s a gradual process

What should I consider it as? A weakness? A strength? Or just probably something that pulls me down every single time.

It may just be ignorance from someone I love

Or words that hurt from someone at work

Sometimes it’s just the absence of someone from the day

Or just the inability to express my feelings in what I say

It builds up, slowly and steadily

Just like the calm before the storm

It won’t come out the instance you want it to

It won’t be shown, but will be figured out only by few

All you want to do is just shout

But you are clueless- what’s this anger about.

That time, you just sit in one corner, try to do your work, try to live your life, try to be normal. You try to portray it to the world that everything is fine, you are happy inside and life is as smooth as butter. But no one is able to see the rage that’s building up inside, the flood of emotions that is rising as the clock ticks by, the frustration slowly kicking in and taking control of you.

Your actions hurt others

The reactions you get, it never really bothers

All you want to do this break away

Just have someone, who can be there and hear you say

There won’t be anyone but

And then you will know the doors are shut

The last ray of hope is gone

The negativity takes over

Anger takes control

The transformation is painful, yet a happy one

Frustration becomes your happy place

Violence is your closure in the coming days

Beware- the animal has been unleashed!

Broken Symmetries

They were meant to be reflections

But harmed each other like deadly infection

They were to converge at some point

Little did they know they were like parallel lines

Drawn way beyond the tipping point

Hatred carved to the utmost perfection

Ever been in that situation where you are just forced to be with them? Even when you don’t want to? Is it actually just too hard to step away, or you just don’t feel like doing that? There is a pinch of hate, a teaspoon of happiness, a tablespoon of sorrow and a bowl full of emotion- perfect recipe for a dish hot served- called love.

He felt it was the best feeling in the world

She never knew it would get so real

His eyes were like a page of emotions never-turned

They could never be fixed as one

Like a broken symmetry, can’t be folded by anyone

Emotions do drive the best of you, or do they get the best of you? It’s hard to pick one statement, especially when the emotion is love. It’s just a four letter word. Surprising how things involving four are symmetrical but this, this is something beyond our thinking.

Take a minute to think about it- ever seen a square? how perfectly it folds on pretty much all it’s symmetry. But when you try the same with love- it ain’t that easy

He was left broken when she left

He cried, but the pain never left

He tried, but ever got what he hoped for

But he didn’t give up, it was too much to ask for

They told him to move on

The damage was done, a thought on which he could brood on

He realized it was something that was never meant to be

Do you see where this is going? Do you see where the heart leads you? Do you still think your mind could do a better job? Hard isn’t it? When you think it is simple as one two three, reality tells you- it’s more complicated.

Alright it can’t be as hard has calculus, you thin. Then life tells you – i am no amateur, increase the complexity.

Try over lapping two semi-circles of different diameters, there is always an excess or you will end up on short of another- seems like that’s how love comes into your life. You are never good enough or sometimes you are just too good.

The power of unrequited love was unique

There was no distributing it into two, like perfect halves

“It only has my right on it”, he said and laughed

He knew what he was about to do, was insanity

But it’s love, an emotion way beyond the understanding of humanity

Sometimes you just have to deal with being not good enough, or with just being extraordinary good. But sometimes, you just have to show – a circle and square might not have the same alignment or symmetry, but a little understanding from both end and one can happily reside into another- I guess we did fix it-

A lost cause

An inability- The Broken Symmetry!

Somethings never change

Been away for a while now

Lost in her thoughts, it’s been a while now

Does she feel for me? Try harder you will figure it out somehow

It just happens to happen again and again

Fall in love, but so hard that it’s just pain

Pick up yourself? Oh no point trying it’s all in vain

Her smile suddenly is what you want to see

Next to her, is the place where you want to be

And then the answer to the  question- do you love me?

It will never be how you think

She will be gone, even before you blink

All you can feel is your heart shrink

You just wanted her to be with you

Love you the way you do

It always ends up, you curled up in pain and rage,

Strange, how some things never change

Her touch made you fly

Distance from her made you cry

Her absence made days sulky and dry

Dreams sometimes are meant to be in a cage

Just like you kept inside your feeling of rage.

Strange, how somethings never change.