Dear Love,
You arrived very unexpectedly. Was it before time? I don’t know. Were you late? Maybe. Was it the right time – I am still evaluating that – but what matters is that you came.
It was like the tempest which hit my life and calmed down without any harm. In fact, I loved every lash of it, I rejoiced every wave – now it is settling down – I can see it smoothly floating towards me from the horizon, I can see the shore where I am heading.
Many have asked how will that shore look like. Have I thought about it? Yes maybe, do I know how long before I reach there? maybe not.
Let me row this journey back to the port where I started off from.
This port was something very magnificent, the lights twinkling as bright as I hoped my future would be. There was chaos – which was music to ears. I was one among those who was preparing to sail. I could see people loading buckets of trust, containers of self confidence, cartons wrapped with this fake aura that they were hoping would guide them through the rough path ahead. Buried under such hopes they crawled up into their ships, as the port slowly started becoming less populated and the ships started moving out.
There I was, sitting with the minimal luggage – a small sheet of respect wrapped around me, small chunks of narcissism and just enough snacks called love to get me through this long journey.
I had no expectations, I had no hopes but I still knew I had to be on this journey.
So when the storm called love came, like I said I wasn’t ready. But then they say, best things in life come when you are unprepared – or the worst? A hypothesis that might still need some validation.
I knew exactly what love looked like…
I would have recognized her at first glance
Love played my favorite music
And knew all my favorite songs
Love and I found a perch that fit us perfectly
We found jokes that make us laugh
I cried for love
I tell love, “You are beautiful”
And mean it
But I am not perfect and will sometime forget
That is when the storm erupted, grew up engulfing the fear that I might be lying, became ferocious and insecure that I might not sustain her wrath. But I sat there, right there on the perch, waiting for her to calm down, waiting for her to settle into simple flow that I have always loved.
Love mellowed down, love embraced me, looked at me with those dreamy eyes which said – why you do this? I looked back at love, warmly welcomed its presence, put a little smile on the face – I do this because I care, I have forgotten what love is so I am learning again, I don’t know what it feels like to jump into this storm and ride the waves with comfort, you are the reason I am trying and slowly getting back on top
You made me realize why I am good, you made me feel why I am good. You were the storm that I needed to shake me up, you were the storm which floated me to the shore, you were the storm that I rode to become who I am today, you are the storm that I would want to experience everyday in my life
Now when I look at you from the distance, I see the same resistance but more confidence, the same anger, but wrapped in love. You are more crazy but even more fun, you are more stubborn but so much more fun, you are mad but a lot more caring.
And now love just asks:
Will you still care in the morning?
When the magic’s gone, gone, oh?
And will you be there in the morning?
Do you stay when it all goes?
Or will I wake up alone?
And all I will sing to that is:
If you want to hold onto me tight
You don’t have to sleep alone tonight
So bright, you guide me through
I believe in you!
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